Express Yourself

Considering that the performance above was on the year I was born, its safe to say, that yes, I grew up barely listening to much of Madonna's songs. Quite unfortunate really. In every new generation of female singers, they have always honored this amazing pop icon and her influences; I just never realized what they were till recently. "Express Yourself" is arguably one of her famous songs, more so as an anthem for girls in choosing their love.
 

Come on girls
Do you believe in love?
'Cause I got something to say about it
And it goes something like this

Don't go for second best baby
Put your love to the test
You know, you know, you've got to
Make him express how he feels
And maybe then you'll know your love is real

Long stem roses are the way to your heart
But he needs to start with your head
Satin sheets are very romantic
What happens when you're not in bed
You deserve the best in life
So if the time isn't right then move on
Second best is never enough
You'll do much better baby on your own
(Baby on your own)

Express yourself
(You've got to make him)
Express himself
Hey, hey, hey, hey
So if you want it right now, make him show you how
Express what he's got, oh baby ready or not
Express yourself
(You've got to make him)
So you can respect yourself
Hey, hey
So if you want it right now, then make him show you how
Express what he's got, oh baby ready or not

Not the entire lyrics, just nitpicking the ones I felt really showcases the lesson she is teaching.  Especially the part, 'You'll do much better on your own' and ' So you can respect yourself '. Sure some folks would say she is a bad influence, a scarlet woman or generally a bad woman, but thinking about it, were they just afraid of a woman, in those times mind you, taking center stage and expressing her opinions through her songs? That said songs would be the female anthem for generations of girls to turn to ,in order to find themselves? Love her or hate her, she is a Pop culture genius, and she will always be here to stay.

[Source][Source]

Mixed Feelings

Excuse me for a second, as I try my best to clean of the dust that has settled on my keyboard. Its been quite a long time since my last update, won't you say? A couple of things happened since the last post. That's life, right? In one day, you have a friend you could turn to and the next, said friend is gone. Or that one day you had a grandmother, and the next she's lying in a white tomb with jasmines growing on it. Basically, life goes on, and sometimes, you just forget about trivial things and what not.

Why am I back again in this blog sphere? A funny tale really; was inspired to write back again when in the midst of improving my thesis. Not the best reason, mind you, but hey as Nietzsche once said, “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” Smart fellow, that one.

As for the title, yes it does reflect the feeling I have as I am writing this. Whether or not its a good idea to go back into writing mode with the old template, or should have just started it off fresh. After thinking about it, I decided to heck with it. I won't delete my past posts. I won't change my blog's address. And I most certainly won't start over with the same empty promise of writing everyday. I won't.

I will however, continue to write in this blog. I will continue to post things that I feel strongly about. I will write about things that may or may not be comfortable to talk about. I will write from my heart.

Why? You ask.
Well, simply because, I will not run away again.

Current Mood : Driven
Current listening to : The World - Yuki Kajiura 

"What is the symbol of your personality?"

You are very loved. Everyone finds you a welcoming, warm person. They look to you for advice and comfort, and someone to just have a good time with. Your personality is seen as cliche and average, but in truth, you have talents and skills and ideas that no one has thought of before. You are someone with style. You are good with colors, and you know how to color people's worlds and minds to your way. You think new relationships are a coloring book, to fill them in with fulfilling conversations and meetings. You may seem nice and perfect and beautiful, you have a policy of "forgive but never forget". You always remember your enemies if you have any, and you know where to steer. Sometimes, when you're completely lost, you are dependent on friends for help. You hope they'll be there for you, but sometimes you fear that they won't be. That is something you are afraid of. You are ready to give, but you are also ready to accept. To many, it seems like you change your personality just for different people, but in fact, you are the one thing that's not changing. Other people grow on you, and grow fond of you, not the other way around. You are always yourself, and you are definite. ....


Funnily enough...it really does hit the spot.....heh.

Ps. Sorry for the very rare updates....real life blows you see...but most probably be writing again during the holidays..till then.

Current Mood : Emo
Current listening to : Angels - Within Temptation

These are....

My Words

Am I,
A bad person,
When I rather pursue better grasses on the other side,
Leaving the old field behind?

Am I,
A bad person,
When all I wanted is to be left alone,
And to be with the few who understood me better?

Am I,
A bad person,
That whenever the past tries to reach out to me,
I recoil and continue moving along a different path?

Am I,
A bad person,
That wishes to leave her past behind,
Because I no longer belong there?

Am I,
Such a bad person,
That I rather grow up and face my life,
Rather than to sit still and hid in safety anymore?

Am I,
So much of a bad person, so heartless,
Because in order to fulfill adulthood,
I needed to cut out my past?

People have a tendency to hold on to things too long,
Like parents who want their children to always be children,
Or the few that have lost their loved ones,
To always be there with them.

Well here is the truth,
People change,
People have to move on,
Because just like how time never stays still,
That is how life is,
It is always moving like a river flow,
And us the humans are either,
The ones struggling to hold on to the rocks,
Or the ones carried out by the flow,
I am the latter.

Why do people move on?
To face on level terms with their new challenges,
To make better lives than what they are currently having,
It may not sit well with many,
But that is too bad.

They say that I have forsaken my past,
The result of taking on a new road, with new companions,
They say that I am a bad person,
Because I no longer follow their will.
That I have moved on.

Why?
Because the past is no longer,
The place for me,
Because it keeps choking me,
Leaving no room to be alive.

The longer I stay in the past,
The longer I feel,
Hurt,
Useless,
But most of all,
Anger and disappointment.

Its harsh,
I know,
But its the truth,
Things can never be the same again.

I needed to move on,
To make myself a better person,
A more dependable person,
A more thoughtful one,
To discard these masks I used to wear,
In order to hide my true feelings,
So that I could remain in the past.

Life beckons,
And I am the fool who finally realized,
I needed to head down a different road,
So please stop chaining me to the past,
Stop making me feel guilty for going on alone,
I no longer belong there.
Let me grow up.
Let me be.
Don't make me wear another mask again.
In order to please you.
Just please don't.
Let me be.

Current Mood : Emo
Current listening to : Tourniquet - Evanescence

It's that time again...

For that massively huge migraine that accompanies your head whenever assignments are given to you by the lecturers. I used to just brush it off and looking back , I knew I barely made it through out the years with my skin on. It's the third year of my studies in the Faculty of Creative Multimedia, two years since I joined the Film and Animation department.

Do I ever felt like I made a bad choice, or just giving up? Many, many times my dear reader. But somehow like all Sagittarius, I'm stubborn to boot. A rock as my head and pride is my blood. I picked this course on my own accord, DAMMIT! It was my decision and I have to live through it, be it good or bad. Why I even joined in the first place?

I was tired, so very tired of society's boring expectations. I started having all this bored phase when I was 16 and it did affect my SPM results..I'm not proud of that. But I am proud of the fact that I manage to discern that society in whole can be evil.They make their children turn into robots, by creating all this monotone learning syllabus where everyone does the bloody same thing, take the same tests. There is no bloody room for personality to grow! Or for me personally after always being told what to do all my life, I have no sense on which to go at all in the end.

What is my purpose in life..apart from the obvious religion obligations as a healthy Muslim. What I mean is my purpose for being born in this world as a human? A scientist discovering new wonders? An astronaut walking on space with the nations pride? A doctor saving many lives everyday? What, then what? A film director? An animator? Or like Mr Mus always says...a sweatshop worker in the industry.

I admit I'm scared...Film and animation is a great thing without a doubt but what and where will it lead me to? I don't know....hell I don't even know whether my skills are even acceptable. It's so frustrating to think out all this thoughts...to see my comrades in battle fall leaving me and a few soldiers still fighting to defend the fort. Scared I will join them eventually...sigh.

But then, stupid me won't have that my dear reader. If I'm in this worthless fight on my own accord, I'm going to give it my all. Even if I was destined to fall, they can't say that I didn't fall gracefully. Even if battling it out hurts me, in the end it was because I made that decision....to do something different, something the society are not comfortable at.

Something that not many can proudly say they have done that. The road that not many have taken...and me as the fool who went through it...and am still walking.

Current Mood : Emo
Current listening to : Russian Roulette - Rihanna

F****** Awesome!

That's right. Bored of my mind today and decided to give my laptops a good nice makeover; a nice wallpaper. Now I figured since most of my desktops had my idols Wonder Girls in it, my 2 other laptops for now should express my other interests. After all the girls still hasn't released their new album yet T_T..so I've got nothing new to show anyway. Please girls release something @_@.

Comeback please~~ T_T..I miss em so much..

Anyway for my XPS, I decided to put in a fantasy themed wallie. It looks pretty...with a transparent mysterious fairy angel on a unicorn battling out this grim bent dark wizard with his evil minions looming and, and lightnings all around, oh my gosh it is so epic!!! Ehem..sorry got a little carried away there...

Anyways, I figured I want an automobile one for my Studio 15.What, its cool..and I am an avid fan of automobiles. Thou I cant name much of em ..sadly...
Was surfing around and happened to bump into a Scion car commercial made by Shilo. It was a 10 in an epic scale. Heck their portfolio was awesome as well. I can't help but feel so overwhelmed by their designs and animation...of course the most enviable of all are their motion graphics..T_T. Damn..I would do anything to be like them. Here's some of my favorite :

Mr Bay..did you had a hand in this..@_@

Please ignore the jackass XD

I call that masking hell... OoO"

Haha..if and if only I ever get to be 10% good as that, I am so thankful. Heck, even maybe work there? Who knows. Weeeeee...now I gotta buck up even more~~~\(@3@)/

Current Mood : Zombie
Listening To : Trot/트로트 by Epik High

Ps: If you were still curious I gave my Studio 15 a nice Aston Martin wallpaper...it is awesome!! Hell, I've even got a couple more as backup..can't wait to use them if i ever feel bored again. XD

It all started in Paris....

during the 19th Century, when famed detective Vidocq disappears while pursuing a murderer called the Alchemist; an assassin that he has been pursuing for a few months. Unfortunately..its not Flamel. His young biographer, Etienne Boisset, decides to have revenge on Vidocq's death and takes the investigation on.

That is the basic plot for Dark Portals: The Chronicles of Vidocq directed by Pitof. Never heard of him? Well, he was the director for Catwoman..the one where Halle Berry wore nothing short of her swimwear as her armor..

remember this?

Personally Halle Berry has got nothing on Michelle Pfeiffer. Her Catwoman was the best still in my opinion. But wait a minute, this post got nothing to do with catwoman...its just actually about my experience of watching Vidocq.

A little something for those technical junkies, this movie was one of the first film to be shot entirely with digital cinematography in Sony HDW-F900 CineAlta camera. Pretty neat huh? Not even going to critic the vfx....it was obviously fake of course..its a 2001 film after all XDD !

Here is some screenshot for your viewing pleasure:

Like I said, visuals are meh for me. Its passable in its attempt at foretelling an apocalyptic old Paris. Only thing that griped me was the characterization. One, there wasn't enough growth. Two, the twisted ending albeit a good idea wasn't properly executed. I was like WTH?!? @_@"

There is some good stuff as well. The fighting style is the same as catwoman. Its quite alright and tastefully done to me. My favorite was the first battle between the Alchemist and Vidocq with the pigeons and stuff. Wondering why I even watch in the first place? Because it was a steampunk movie..one of the few good ones in terms of steampunk elements. It was part of my research for my feeble attempts for FA Gamma work..@@.

Oh my...@_@

Yeah, it was definitely a good research material. Would have wanted to follow the movie's lab concept instead of the steampunk mechanic workshop, but I don't think my dear lecturers will approve of the ehem, sexual themed lab..with dolls in awkward position... or the walls filled with pictures of demons doing...yeah..best not to do that. Even if they would let me, I doubt I can pull it off. Don't look at me like that! I didn't know it was an R-rated movie in the first place. Plus the concept was intriguing, I mean first time I see steampunk done in that manner without centering much on the machines or such. Sheesh......anyway its not the best movie but it did entertain, so its alright.

Since I can't find a good quality trailer..one with subtitles anyway since its french, here is the soundtrack instead, so you can see bits and pieces of the movie. Its Hope by Apocalyptica. Credits of the video to Universal Music Group.

Apocalyptica - Hope Vol II (Vidocq BO)

Is it just me or is that long blond haired playing cello person really effeminate ? @_@