These are....

My Words

Am I,
A bad person,
When I rather pursue better grasses on the other side,
Leaving the old field behind?

Am I,
A bad person,
When all I wanted is to be left alone,
And to be with the few who understood me better?

Am I,
A bad person,
That whenever the past tries to reach out to me,
I recoil and continue moving along a different path?

Am I,
A bad person,
That wishes to leave her past behind,
Because I no longer belong there?

Am I,
Such a bad person,
That I rather grow up and face my life,
Rather than to sit still and hid in safety anymore?

Am I,
So much of a bad person, so heartless,
Because in order to fulfill adulthood,
I needed to cut out my past?

People have a tendency to hold on to things too long,
Like parents who want their children to always be children,
Or the few that have lost their loved ones,
To always be there with them.

Well here is the truth,
People change,
People have to move on,
Because just like how time never stays still,
That is how life is,
It is always moving like a river flow,
And us the humans are either,
The ones struggling to hold on to the rocks,
Or the ones carried out by the flow,
I am the latter.

Why do people move on?
To face on level terms with their new challenges,
To make better lives than what they are currently having,
It may not sit well with many,
But that is too bad.

They say that I have forsaken my past,
The result of taking on a new road, with new companions,
They say that I am a bad person,
Because I no longer follow their will.
That I have moved on.

Why?
Because the past is no longer,
The place for me,
Because it keeps choking me,
Leaving no room to be alive.

The longer I stay in the past,
The longer I feel,
Hurt,
Useless,
But most of all,
Anger and disappointment.

Its harsh,
I know,
But its the truth,
Things can never be the same again.

I needed to move on,
To make myself a better person,
A more dependable person,
A more thoughtful one,
To discard these masks I used to wear,
In order to hide my true feelings,
So that I could remain in the past.

Life beckons,
And I am the fool who finally realized,
I needed to head down a different road,
So please stop chaining me to the past,
Stop making me feel guilty for going on alone,
I no longer belong there.
Let me grow up.
Let me be.
Don't make me wear another mask again.
In order to please you.
Just please don't.
Let me be.

Current Mood : Emo
Current listening to : Tourniquet - Evanescence

It's that time again...

For that massively huge migraine that accompanies your head whenever assignments are given to you by the lecturers. I used to just brush it off and looking back , I knew I barely made it through out the years with my skin on. It's the third year of my studies in the Faculty of Creative Multimedia, two years since I joined the Film and Animation department.

Do I ever felt like I made a bad choice, or just giving up? Many, many times my dear reader. But somehow like all Sagittarius, I'm stubborn to boot. A rock as my head and pride is my blood. I picked this course on my own accord, DAMMIT! It was my decision and I have to live through it, be it good or bad. Why I even joined in the first place?

I was tired, so very tired of society's boring expectations. I started having all this bored phase when I was 16 and it did affect my SPM results..I'm not proud of that. But I am proud of the fact that I manage to discern that society in whole can be evil.They make their children turn into robots, by creating all this monotone learning syllabus where everyone does the bloody same thing, take the same tests. There is no bloody room for personality to grow! Or for me personally after always being told what to do all my life, I have no sense on which to go at all in the end.

What is my purpose in life..apart from the obvious religion obligations as a healthy Muslim. What I mean is my purpose for being born in this world as a human? A scientist discovering new wonders? An astronaut walking on space with the nations pride? A doctor saving many lives everyday? What, then what? A film director? An animator? Or like Mr Mus always says...a sweatshop worker in the industry.

I admit I'm scared...Film and animation is a great thing without a doubt but what and where will it lead me to? I don't know....hell I don't even know whether my skills are even acceptable. It's so frustrating to think out all this thoughts...to see my comrades in battle fall leaving me and a few soldiers still fighting to defend the fort. Scared I will join them eventually...sigh.

But then, stupid me won't have that my dear reader. If I'm in this worthless fight on my own accord, I'm going to give it my all. Even if I was destined to fall, they can't say that I didn't fall gracefully. Even if battling it out hurts me, in the end it was because I made that decision....to do something different, something the society are not comfortable at.

Something that not many can proudly say they have done that. The road that not many have taken...and me as the fool who went through it...and am still walking.

Current Mood : Emo
Current listening to : Russian Roulette - Rihanna

In the deep recess of my subconscious..

I am The Traveler

You have an excellent balance of living for today whilst working for tomorrow.

A logical, rational mind that deals with problems when they can be no longer ignored but before they become too much hassle or out of control.

You are lost without a goal and strive to better yourself constantly whether it be physically, mentally, financially or creatively.

You are most likely quite a loner deep down, though this may be translated as a need for constant security from friends or activities.

You relish the challenge of moving on and searching the world as it is akin to searching yourself.

When will you realize you' re already home?


Funny enough...I think its quite right about me.....damn.

Current Mood : Nothing
Current listening to : Without a heart/심장이 없어 - 8Eight

A painting that is me...

The Son of Man
Gee..ain't that stating the obvious...

You love surprises and life cannot be routine.
Absolutely me....

You are a dreamer and acknowledge surrealism.
Ha ha lately my dreams are borderline surreal..

Highly imaginative.
Very true.

If possible, you would rather remain in your own fantasy than to face reality.
Without a doubt...

Like the theme in the painting, you are curious and always want to see what is hidden by what you see.
Hmm..kinda true...

Be careful not to get too sensitive and reading too much into things.
Been there done that but thanks for the warning..

You seek for answer beyond the superficial, even answers about yourself.
*Nods..

You are pyschologically-minded, and constantly yearns to know more about yourself.
*Nods again

You are a making of an intellect.
Really?! Yay!

Current Mood : Stoned
Current listening to : The Color of the Night - Lauren Christy

What happened at the traffic lights......

Your humble narrator is driving with Emo baby in the passenger seat. Behind was Master Panda with the only working seat belt, and on the other side was The Rocker. Sandwiched between them was Kitty Kat. On the journey back to Money Making University after a nice breakfast at dawn in Mickey Dees.

Master Panda : You know, you want me, Kitty.

Kitty : WTS!?

Master Panda : See the traffic lights? When it turns red I will lay my head on your shoulders. If it turns green I will leave you alone until the next traffic light. So you better pray it is green, baby.

Kitty : .....

The traffic light in front was green,and just when it was their car's turn to go it turns red.

Kitty : NO!!!

Master Panda : Yay! *proceeds to lay his head on her shoulder.

Kitty : No!! Eeew get him off of me!

The Rocker : *stunned before she starts laughing.

Emo baby : AHAHAAAHHA!!!

The Scripter : ROFL. *claps at the awesome sight.

The light turns green again.

Kitty : Grr...

Master Panda : You know you like it. *grins

The next traffic light is coming up.

Kitty : *prays

The Scripter : Hmm, looks like its green for now. You should be fine.

Emo baby : What if it suddenly turns red before we reach there?

It really turns red.

Master Panda : Yay!! *does it again.

Kitty : No!! This is sexual harassment! Stop it! Nya!!!!

The Rocker, The Scripter, Emo Baby : L-T-A-O !!

The car turns quiet as they reach the highway. Just one more traffic light before they reach their destination. It turns red again.

Master Panda : * as he snuggles on Kitty's shoulder. You know it makes me wonder that this is the third time you prayed for green, yet it always turns red. So it means that all this while, you really want it red, right? You like me to snuggle you like this? That's what you were praying for right?

Kitty : *pissed

The Rocker, The Scripter, Emo Baby : * laughed too much till they hurt their bellies.

Thankfully for Kitty the next one was green all the way.......


The quote above is not exactly quote for quote but the basic context really happened. Too bad we didn't viddy it. Much funnier that way. XD

Current Mood : Reminiscing
Current Song : Over My Head - The Fray

Ps: Watch out for more posts like this. XDDD

I want to viddy these!

My holidays is coming soon to an end...but I rather not think about it. In fact I would rather spend my time snooping around for the latest music or movies coming my way soon. For now, I have set my eyes on these movies:

4.Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Why I want to watch? I'm not exactly a Darren Shan fan, having only read the first part of the saga before I moved over to other books. But, I do remember that it had a rather interesting spin on vampires. So I was curious when I heard they are making a movie out of it. Granted as usual books turned movies don't really adapt well but I'll save the judgment for when I see it. Hey, I'm already happy that the vampires don't sparkle and from the trailer it looks like it is more than a half baked plot there. Besides the strong cast of John C.Reilly, Ken Watanabe, Salma Hayek and Jane Krakowski should be interesting to note.



@0@.....will you look at that awesome regenerating by Miss Krakowski? I'm guessing it will be eye candy for vfx-ers..


3. Sherlock Holmes

Its not till Christmas...but so far so good. I'm really anticipating this one. I want to see how Robert Downey Jr act as one of the World's greatest detective with his opium addiction and all. Looks like it'll bring in some laughs too.


Rofl at that last scene~~~ XDD


2. Alice in Wonderland

No need for explanation...its Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. That's enough I believe. Besides it will be interesting to see a darker tone of Alice, eh?


Wee..naughty naughty XPP


1. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Such a loss, Mr Ledger will forever be in our memories. This one looks like a real visual candy. No matter what will be watching this....looks like good casting and the music gave me goosebumps. And the plot sounds so surreal..heh. If that's not enough, apart from the late Heath Ledger, there is also Johnny Depp,Collin Farrell and Jude Law in it as different aspects of Heath's character. Sounds good to me.


You can't see me now, but know that I'm actually jumping up and down in glee watching this. XDDD

Current Mood : Sleepy
Currently listening to: Russian Roulette - Rihanna

So hungry....

For food...glorious food, my dear fellows. Sigh, but then there goes my diet plan down the drain....I find it quite unfair sometimes that guys in general are able to do what girls can't; the ability to don't care what they eat! Grr.....

Ehem....anyways, if there is any dream that I wish will come true, a day of eating without the consequences of storing calories into the body would be one of it. And if it does come true, these are the things I will be stuffing myself with happily:

Breakfast

Start off with some lovely scrambled eggs...

Followed by some nicely grilled mini sausages....


A nice stack of pancakes with heaps of maple syrup....


And some nicely toasted french bread..


Lunch

A nice warm soup with croutons in it..



Some nice udon before the main course...



A steak sandwich as the main attraction...



With a nice brownie for dessert.


Dinner


Start of with some good old nachos with spicy dips...



Accompanied by some seafood spaghetti.....



Steak and fries as the main highlight.....



And plain old vanilla for dessert..yeap..vanilla is enough...



And for Supper.......












A good chug of Eno drink....

Oh come on. You can't expect me to eat those stuff without bursting my stomach is it? Ha ha..but isn't it a nice list thou? Sigh..I shall continue to dream of it then......

Current mood: Hungry
Currently listening to: Eat you up - Boa

Damn I'm even more hungry looking at all these pictures..........>///<"